The Alien is fast approaching 16. I am ever hopeful that the day the Aliens return my sweet child to me is imminent.
Yet another Hallmark Day has arrived.
Chicken Man hates being made a fuss of so he forcefully told me and the Alien this morning: “Alien – don’t irritate me today and Alma, let me do what I want today. That is all I want for this Fathers Day malarkey”
Who are we to argue?
- I wish the Alien would listen to me the first time I saysomething (Not a difficult request surely?)
- I wish my cats and dog would stop shedding hair everywhere(I am drowning in their hair, people. HELP!)
- I wish alcohol didn’t give me a hangover (How can somethingso delightful be so punishing? It’scruel I tell you.)
- I wish TV adverts weren’t so bloody loud (They are at least1000 decibels louder than the programme you just fell asleep to.)
- I wish women could stand together and force feminine hygienecompanies to bring down the prices of sanitary towels/tampons (Come on, it’s arip off. I expect to see cotton wool pricesafter gold and oil prices on business news. It is clearly a rare commodity)
|My joy cannot really be captured by Kodak but thank you Vernon for sending me this pic.|
The Alien turned 15 in December. Of course, all she wanted was a Blackberry. Every other need and want paled in comparison to her desire to have BBM (Blackberry Messenger)
I stuck to my guns of not getting her one – with difficulty though. The nagging, tantrums, depression and blackmail would have had the most hardened Marine SEAL crying like a baby!
Her joy when she received a Blackberry from her Uncle and Aunt was a sight to behold though.
The look of love as she clapped eyes on her BB for the first time almost brings tears to ones eyes??
Then there is the “look Mom – I have a Blackberry. How cool am I?” stage. Pouting is of course compulsory.
This is followed by the far away stare of an Alien plotting all the possibilities opened up to her thanks to finally becoming a part of the BBM generation.
- You don’t poke people when you want theirattention nor do you put up your thumb and say “like” when they say something interesting.
- When you get bored of the conversation, youcan’t shut down.
- You don’t actually follow people wherever theygo because that doesn’t lead to friendship – only restraining orders.
- Your computer is NOT your life.
I have been feeling sorry for Chicken Man of late. He is under so much stress, running around like a headless chicken tokeep his customers and bosses happy.
A general warning: Don’t mess with any mother with more than1 brain cell, clever people! We aregenetically programmed to protect our young. We will kill forour offspring even if they are teenagers.
I saw a competition on the Umhlanga Life blog just a day or so after meeting the charming Fred Felton. Always game to enter anything – I submitted this story. The rules where that the story had to be 100 words or less. Not as easy as you think or is it just me who likes to waffle on and on?
Nevertheless, this is what I wrote…
She moved cautiously but with purpose. She knew exactly what was lying beneath but her focus was on getting love and attention and she had finally pinned down the person she adored the most. She was prepared to stand on dangerous ground.
There was a stirring and a rumbling that grew louder and fiercer as she approached. She paid it no heed. She needed to feel cherished. Fear was not going to stop her.
The infuriated puppy eventually poked her head out from under the warm duvet and glared at the cat as if to say; “Go away, she’s mine!”
Word Count: 100
This is what I have to deal with every night by the way. Roxy the Foxy sleeps under the duvet and Cuddles knowingly steps on her as she makes her way towards me for strokes and loves. That cat likes to live dangerously! One day Roxy is going to make the effort to get more than just her head out from under the duvet and then there will be hell to play!
“I am a looser”
“You just don’t understand, my life is over”
“I am not going to have any friends”
All these passionate, sometimes hysterical pleas from the Alien have been getting the same standard response from me:
I hear your gasps of horror from here. This mother has an emotionally disturbed, possibly unstable teenager and her response is “Ag Shame”? Relax! I did take the time to listen to the reason why her life was teetering on the brink of extinction.
The child does not have a BlackBerry.
Can you believe it? Even though she has a perfectly good Nokia somethingorother phone, a computer, the choice of 2 TV’s with DSTV and a DVD player, a pleasant roof over her head, a swimming pool, 3 adoring cats, 1 devoted dog plus a cupboard full of clothes – the child’s life is a misery because she does not have a BlackBerry Pin Number.
How sad is that? I am not totally heartless, you know. I was once a teenager and understand about peer pressure and all that psycho babble. It really is pathetic that a beautiful young girl can feel that life is passing her by because she does not have a particular make of phone. Talk about a fickle society.
Apparently all the kids who used to be on MXit have closed their accounts and are BB Messaging each other now. SMS is clearly so last week and actually calling a person and talking to them is what old people like me do. I suppose I could alleviate her misery just a tad if I allowed her to have Facebook but I see what some of these teenagers do and say on Facebook so question if I want to expose her to all that.
So, until her contract is due for an upgrade, I will just have to endure the endless whining and complaining. The advantage is that, because she no longer knows what is going on in the world around her because of her forced isolation thanks to her BlackBerry’lessness (cool new word that), the Alien can spend more time moping around me.
Hang on…did I just say advantage?
Anyone getting rid of their BlackBerry? Anyone?